God warped my brain into cigarettes
I sold them to my lover
He’s made of a violet aura consumed by
A yellow devil
This side of him gnaws at me
Molding me into anything
better than myself
Perhaps a knife
He gnaws at me as I stare into the sky
Drifting away from myself

He swallows all of my voices
Burning them deep in his gut
I am hollow
I am hungry
For more dirty secrets
My secrets give him a
third eye with hints of silver
I remain silent
as he smokes alone

Doe Eyes

Caught you with doe eyes and a suggesting smile that followed you for miles
silly, sarcastic, with an air of mystery
surprised you with wit
making up for lack of hips
we both tripped on each other’s heart
so, why doesn’t it make sense?


If you just loved me there would be no animosity
I wouldn’t grit my teeth
We wouldn’t clench our fists
There’s be no need to hit,
Our flame was dead on arrival because
you weren’t weary enough to love me like a minefield

Make everything perfect and give me the answers right now because I love you
and my co-dependence is just as innocent as those doe eyes you said were beautiful
so why can’t this be accepted?
Because my love for you is unlike yours for me?
Is dynamite wrapped in good intentions?

Oh how I care so careless with a cruel mood
I’m sad about your hard days taken place by sleepless nights
but just be more quiet about it

Because your pain crumbles my world
and I’ll take the blame
and be centerfold of everything wrong that I want to make right.
You’re supposed to just smile

It’s all I wanted to see so instead I can associate myself with that light
It’s my world because eggshells aren’t too supportive to walk on
So please don’t push your luck when you’re at fault

Mistaking me for passionate not realizing I’m nothing
but the romance that lies between a rock and a hard place
forming a boulder pushing through all you saw
in those promising first days

Doe eyes aren’t innocent, they’re pain and enlarged by sadness
so please stand back since you can’t hold me as tight as I’d like,
so I’ll just break all your things so they can love me to pieces

You think you can do what you want?
Of course I have to because my id isn’t only my pilot
it’s an overbearing mother pissed to see me want more than self destruction
More than you picking up those pieces because they didn’t love me hard enough
so as you exhaust yourself I’ll break them, break down, break again
and you just can’t stop cleaning

Shhh! Go to sleep
It’s a matter of rest
you’ll be tired but OK
nothing happened because I slept it off and purged it out my system
Don’t ever say you’re scared to me again
that’s another pet peeve of mine and honestly there’s no reason

I’m the same hip chick with doe eyes you brought your way
but love makes the difference and it’s deep
so much as to let me break myself with everything that rubs me wrong
and yes, everything rubs me wrong
so don’t rub me wrong

Maybe just keep telling me I hate you everyday
it’s my only wish
my hate is distant, comforting, and safe
choose the unanimous, and walk away from the love
you can walk away but I can’t hide
and I’ll just prey on the next with doe eyes a little more wide

About the Author

Ashley Fitch is a poet from Trenton, New Jersey.